Welcoming a new baby is a joyful family milestone that also, quite reasonably, disrupts an older child sense of security. Jealousy and regression are normal responses, not signs of a spoiled or difficult child.
What to Expect
Regression to earlier behaviors, wanting a bottle again, baby talk, toileting accidents, is a common and temporary response to feeling displaced. Increased clinginess or, conversely, increased independence-seeking can both appear as an older child processes the change. Direct expressions of not liking the baby are normal and should be met with acceptance rather than correction.
What Helps Before the Baby Arrives
Involve your older child in preparations in age-appropriate ways, choosing an outfit, helping set up the nursery. Maintain honesty about what will change, including that you will be tired and busy sometimes, rather than promising nothing will be different.
What Helps After the Baby Arrives
Protect one-on-one time with your older child, even 10 minutes daily, as consistently as possible. Involve them in baby care in ways that feel like contribution, not chores, fetching a nappy, singing to the baby. Validate difficult feelings directly: it is okay to feel jealous sometimes, I love you both completely.
Related Guides
Sibling Rivalry | Babies 0-12 Months | Big Feelings